You head for the door and your dog already knows. The keys rattle, they get up, their body stiffens and they whine. You say, “Back soon,” close the door and hear the first howl from the stairwell. If this is familiar, so are the guilt and the neighbours. Being alone does not come naturally to a dog, a social animal who loses their group when you leave. But dogs can learn it. Almost all of them. It just takes longer than most people think.
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Why being alone is hard
A dog has no concept of “I’ll be back in two hours.” They know only that their person is gone and they cannot follow. For a puppy newly separated from the litter, this is a fundamental alarm signal. For an adult rescue dog, it often reopens an old wound. Both need the same thing: repeated experience that leaving always ends with returning, so often that it becomes boring.
A plan that works
Week 1: making home a safe place
Before you close the front door, your dog needs to learn to be apart from you at home while you are still there. It sounds contradictory, but it is the key. You go into the bathroom and close the door. You go to the kitchen while your dog stays in the living room. You sit on the sofa while they lie on their mat three metres away. Each time they remain calm, nothing special happens. That is the point. No praise, no drama. Calm becomes normal.
Week 2: the door
Now you really go out, for 30 seconds, then come back. No goodbye, no greeting. Ten times a day. Then one minute, then three, then five. The rule is to return before your dog becomes unsettled. If they bark or seem frantic when you return, you were away too long. Take a step back.
Weeks 3 to 6: building duration
Ten minutes, twenty, thirty, an hour. Avoid increasing the time every day. Work in waves: longer sometimes, shorter again at others, so your dog does not learn that it gets worse every time. A chew or a filled Kong when you leave helps because chewing is calming. Only leave your dog after a walk, tired and with their toileting needs met.
From week 6: everyday life
Two, three, four hours. Most adult dogs can comfortably manage four to five hours once they have learnt how.
The often-mentioned eight-hour limit needs an honest explanation: Germany has no statutory maximum for leaving a dog alone. Section 2 of the German Animal Welfare Dog Ordinance requires owners to give dogs “the opportunity to interact with their caregiver several times a day”, with at least four hours daily for puppies up to 20 weeks of age. It specifies no number of hours for being alone. The view that eight continuous hours is too much for the vast majority of dogs therefore comes from practical experience, rather than a legal rule or study finding. Anyone needing to cover those hours requires a dog walker, daycare, neighbours or days working from home.
The mistakes almost everyone makes
- The big goodbye. “Mummy will be back, be good, I love you.” This tells your dog something bad is about to happen. Leave as though you were taking out the rubbish.
- The big reunion. If your dog goes wild when you return and you join in, you reinforce the idea that separation was dramatic. Come in, take off your coat, then greet calmly.
- Too much, too soon. Jumping from five minutes to three hours because it went well once. That costs two weeks of training.
- Punishing the mess. If you come home to a dismantled sofa, your dog was panicking rather than plotting revenge. Punishment increases fear of your return.
- All day without a break. A dog who went out for five minutes in the morning cannot wait eight hours. That is not a training issue.
What helps and what does not
Helps: tiring your dog before leaving (mental activity more than running), a regular resting place, a crate if they love it as a den rather than experience it as confinement, chews, a radio at room volume and blinds half lowered to reduce outside stimulation. Does not help, or helps little: pheromone diffusers alone, calming medication without training, a second dog as the solution (then two howl), or a camera you speak through (which drives the dog frantic).
When you need help
If your dog injures themselves when alone, scratches doors until they bleed, develops diarrhoea or cannot manage five minutes after two months of training, this has moved beyond a training issue into genuine separation anxiety. A trainer specialising in behaviour or a veterinary behaviourist can help. Sometimes medication is part of the plan while training continues. It is a tool rather than a weakness.
One honest final thought
Some dogs learn in three weeks; others need half a year. Some spend their whole lives preferring to come everywhere rather than wait at home on the sofa. That too is an outcome, rather than failure. A dog is a family member, not a device to switch off. Most can nevertheless manage everyday life if given time to learn it.
The dog who comes everywhere is also the one whose empty spot is most noticeable. A framed canvas can hang exactly where they always lie anyway.
To teach time alone from the start rather than repair problems later, Puppy Education & Adolescent Dog Training (book in German) covers the process from week one, alongside everything else that needs attention at this stage.
All our guides for dog owners are on the books page, and for the very first month the Puppy Starter Pack is free.
Further reading
- Puppy training: the 5 rules: the foundation to build on
- Golden Retriever: what the cancer figures mean: a breed with a particularly strong attachment to its people
- New Year’s Eve anxiety in dogs: when fear adds to the picture
Source on the legal position: Section 2 Tierschutz-Hundeverordnung (TierSchHuV), gesetze-im-internet.de. Accessed on 19.09.2026.
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